


Hiding

by thepilotanon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Can Be Considered x Reader Insert, F/M, Friendship with Phasma, Grief/Mourning, Kylo Comforts His Wife, OFC Has No Physical Description/Coloring, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepilotanon/pseuds/thepilotanon
Summary: Kylo's wife never knew what it was like to lose someone she cared about, until she lost who she considered a dear friend.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	Hiding

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. **  
**

Powerful leader of the First Order, in control of a new form of Empire that will bring greatness to the galaxy, he plans to finish the job of that his grandfather could not do before his death. Promising to end the war and bring peace to his loyal followers, Kylo Ren was a man of all seriousness and order; no one was to disobey the Supreme Leader, lest they have a desired death wish with his cross-bladed lightsaber. Everyone knew to fear him, and never go against his orders…

Everyone, except his wife. Nova.

Everyone knew that Nova, the Supreme Leader’s wife, was different from anyone else in the First Order, even far different than General Hux’s hair or the new tech in the repaired control panels. She was something that many people had a hard time believing being Kylo’s other half, much less still breathe after being married for as long as they have. She was the only one who ever dared to approach him during his tantrums to ask him random questions ( _What would you like for dinner? Do you need your uniform cleaned tonight? Have you seen the medical droid for your headaches, or did you destroy it again?_ ). Each defeat by the scavenger girl or trying to get her to join him in ruling the galaxy, she was the first one to go to his side and keep him calm. Nova was the only one who ever dared to laugh or bring happiness around the decks, mostly to annoy Hux and distract her husband from the General’s annoying lectures; as well as hugging, smiling and making people’s day cycle a little bit brighter in any way that she can.

Sometimes people forgot that she was the new Commander and the trainer for the Knights of Ren.

Yes, people wonder all the time at how anyone such as Nova could capture the black heart of Kylo Ren, but that was something that neither husband or wife will exploit any time soon with the war still raging. People are sometimes caught daydreaming by the Supreme Leader of the married couple telling their children - a daydream instantly shot down by reminding them of their place and get back to work. No one but his wife was really allowed to wander off when there was nothing important to do.

Speaking of his beloved, Kylo Ren was currently in the midst of searching for her.

Knowing that she had finished training the Knights for the day and even taking on some stormtroopers for extra conditioning, Kylo expected Nova to return to their quarters or find her attempting to annoy Hux. When he couldn’t find her anywhere in their rooms or at the command deck, Kylo slowly came to the idea that he was to find her in one of her hiding spots among the vast ship of the Finalizer, using the Force as a guide. Knowing how his wife had a miraculous talent finding nooks and crannies that many people in armor can’t fit into, Kylo is having his work cut out for him.

Entering and exiting different control rooms without a word, startling many officers and stormtroopers by his sudden appearance, Kylo paid no mind to anyone taking a break or conversing among one another when he didn’t find a familiar Force signature within the room. He went to every mess hall and even pushed his abilities to search within the women’s lockers for her, only to come up empty of a bright and shiny light. When he went to the medical center and casually stared at one of the nurses, it didn’t take long for them to let him know that they haven’t seen his wife lately, much less one of his own Knights and stormtroopers who were being treated from Nova’s ministrations during training.

“She appeared to be fine, Master,” one of his Knights answered from his cot, his helmet still on while a nurse applied ointment to a dagger cut on his ribcage. “Did not sense anything wrong with her, even while we remained to help clean the training facility. No sign of intending on hiding anywhere…”

“Do you know which way she went after dismissing you?” Kylo asked in a low voice, ignoring how the unmasked stormtroopers did everything is their power to avoid looking at him out of habit.

“She said something about the observation deck, but I did not see her there when I passed by on my way.”

Realizing that he found what he was looking for, Kylo simply turned around and made his way to the only observation deck he knew Nova would want to go to.

* * *

The previous Supreme Leader had an observation deck installed above the throne room, where Kylo only casually stole a glance in before moving on (normally Nova would sit on his throne, if she waited for him), and he could recall the many times Snoke complained about the “ _brainless_ ” brat ignoring his threats about lounging up there whenever she pleased. It still appalled Kylo, looking back, how Snoke never raised a finger at Nova when she did what she wanted, even though she would technically be out of his way… Snoke never used the Force to make her submit, or even threaten her life when she began behaving naughtily after being hired. It was like Nova had a way of getting what she wanted, regardless whom it may be in power, she didn’t care. As far as the Supreme Leader’s observation deck went, it was one of Nova’s best hiding places.

Climbing the stairs with his long limbs, his cape flowing from the breeze of the vents, Kylo could finally pick up his wife’s Force mark. It was quiet, which was very unusual to find from a usually extremely hyper and bright aura that often reminded Kylo what he was fighting for in this war. Seeing his wife’s back as she sat on the ground, he waited for her to acknowledge his presence as he made himself known of coming up the stairs. He heard her mumbling under her breath softly and moving her hands and arms around, as if fiddling with something, but she gave no response to her husband’s arrival. She was quiet, and Kylo knew that this was not his wife’s usual behavior, even when she was having a hard day…

Stepping onto the hangar of the deck, Kylo listened as he began picking up his wife’s words. She was trying to say something, struggling with the pronunciation and vowels.

“Doba… _min_ \- val tru,” Nova muttered before sighing. “Doba val tru…do ba…”

“ _Doaba ol’val tru_ ,” Kylo corrected in a soft tone, making his way to stand next to her sitting form. With his hands placed behind his back, he glanced to the vast view of the stars and distant moons. “You want to say ‘ _Doaba ol’val tru_ ’, otherwise you’re speaking gibberish and probably drunk to the locals.”

“ _Doaba ol’val tru_ ,” Nova tried carefully, her voice slow as to try and copy her husband’s guide. In their reflection, Kylo nodded.

“Very good, my darling.” Kylo finally looked down to see Nova for the first time all day. Beautiful as always in his eyes, he noticed the tear tracks sparkling faintly on her cheeks and her usually curious and loving eyes seemed distant and tired. Her bottom lip had obviously been chewed on, probably to keep her sobs quiet. In her hands, though, was a rock.

The rock was roughly the size of Kylo’s large hands, oval-shaped and roughly mixed in different colors of grays, browns and speckles of a bright blue on top. Nova has to use both of her hands to hold it properly to avoid making a ruckus, her thumbs rubbing around the surface of the rock. Kylo recognized it from the bookshelf back in their quarters, as Nova kept it within her reach next to her collections of scrolls and books he had given her throughout the years. Of course his wife had a collection of unique trinkets (or…useless), and Kylo sometimes found it interesting in contrast to his otherwise boring collection of books and manuals.

Kylo knew where that rock came from.

“Who were you saying the funeral prayer to, love…” Kylo spoke quietly, already knowing the answer as to why his wife was trying to recite something in Olys Corellisi. Sometimes Kylo would read his wife something in his father’s language, translating and teaching her some phrases.

“Phasma.”

Sighing, Kylo slowly got himself to sit on the ground, crossing his legs before taking off his gloves and setting them to the side. Reaching over, Kylo carefully picked up his wife and lift her to his lap. Once settling her comfortably with her rock still in her grasp, Kylo held on to Nova by wrapping his arms around her body and pressing a light kiss to her temple, nuzzling his forehead against her head.

Since the battle that lost many lives on both sides of the First Order and the Resistance, it took a while before the disappearance of Captain Phasma was brought to light and the official documents declared her as deceased, Nova was the last one to be notified.

Phasma was one of the very, very few who took an instant liking to Nova since she was brought to work for the First Order, originally thinking she would become her second in command with her expertise with weapons and ability her fight anyone without fear. Phasma actually took care of Nova when she was confused by many rules and guidelines of serving Snoke, taking time to teach her the basics - even though Nova eventually neglected most of them. Kylo assumed that Phasma saw his wife as bit of her younger self, when she first got into the war, confused and only knows surviving is important. Once Nova got accustomed to her position as a trainer, being tied to the ship, Phasma made it a secret habit to bring small gifts to her as gifts to teach her about the worlds Nova never knew.

When Kylo began secretly courting Nova without Snoke’s knowledge, he had an idea that Phasma knew something was up and supported Nova’s presence near him as often as possible.

Captain Phasma was the only friend she had, and now she was gone.

When the announcement of Phasma’s death was revealed to the First Order assembly, Kylo knew Nova wanted to burst out into tears and begin mourning for her friend. But, as Hux kept going with the future plans and Kylo becoming the Supreme Leader, Nova knew that expressing emotion was not an option for the time. As soon as everything was in place, everyone was put to work right away, Nova and Kylo included. There was rarely any time to mourn for lost comrades in war, no sense to give or receive comfort…

Kylo can only guess that Nova wanted time to miss her friend in peace, and not shame her husband’s public reputation. Not that anyone would dare to look down upon Kylo’s wife, but she knew that her strong image also influenced the image of her husband.

Crying was not an option. Attachments are meant to be a distraction, thus mourning was looked down upon.

“I miss Phasma,” Nova said with a sore throat, looking at the rock the old Captain had given her a few years ago. “I wish that they found her body…”

“There were many that were not found,” Kylo informed her, “you know this.”

She nodded, feeling tears well in her eyes again. “I know that, but…Phasma and the others fought for you and the purpose of the First Order, they should at least be honored. Phasma would have pledged to you as Supreme Leader as soon as she found out. I just want her body back to say good bye.”

Kylo nodded, silently agreeing. Feeling her sobs starting again, Kylo carefully pulled her head to tuck into his neck, cradling her against him as she began crying. His fingers rubbing her scalp as he rest his cheek against her head and holding her tight, he quietly hushed her. “ _Nova_ …”

“I never had anyone like Phasma in my life, Kylo,” Nova confessed. “I know it’s terrible of me to be so sad with something that’s expected in war but -” she turned her head into his shoulder and broke down “- I miss Phasma, I can’t stop the feeling of missing her.”

The Supreme Leader kept silent, allowing her to release a tired cry. Her hands dropping the rock to her lap as she wrapped her arms tightly around him in a desperate embrace; she needed comfort, her mind and heart a confused mess and lost in emotions. Kylo knew that his wife never experienced death so personal before - her prior life to the First Order was all about survival and killing anyone who was a threat to her. She had no one. She was alone with her bustling planet of employers and those seeking her advice before being taken… As someone still new to the vast galaxy, she was also new to many emotions she never thought existed inside of her and Kylo knew that all too well.

And, as her husband, Kylo wasn’t going to let his wife experience loneliness any longer.

The memories of Ben Solo slowly crept to his mind, and Kylo found himself remembering the times as a small boy crying to the holographics of his father, demanding that he came _home_. The time he watched his mother proudly project to the council while sitting on either his father or servant’s lap, how he reached his then-small hands to her, wanting _her embrace_ instead. The good-bye _kisses_ his parents spoiled him with and the hello _hugs_ and _snuggles_ every time he went to train with Luke Skywalker. Kylo knew that Ben Solo experienced the _mourning_ of the death of his father, and…

Cradling Nova’s head with one hand, Kylo pressed a long, firm kiss to her forehead. Thumb brushing the back of her skull as he tucked her closer to him and allowed her to cry as much as she wanted.

“ _Doaba ol’val tru_ ,” Kylo began reciting the funeral prayer that he remembered fluently as a young man. His father taking him to visit the graves of his parents and paying respect. “ _Ol’val, min dul’skal, ahn guld domina_ …”

* * *

After crying for what probably felt like forever to her, Nova fell asleep in her husband’s embrace as he waited patiently for her to calm down. He kept his gaze to the outside, minding the reflection of his wife in the window as he recited the funeral prayer in his father’s language about a few dozen times, his deep voice vibrating comfortingly against her as she let out all of her negative energy. He repeated the full chant for her, in a sense that he was saying it for Phasma and the other hundred stormtroopers who were never accounted for in the cleanup. For him, he didn’t really care for the deaths, as it was expected…but he found his wife’s thoughts swelling of her fears that she didn’t voice.

_Who will pray to Kylo if he died? Will he get time to mourn if I were to die? What if I can’t remember how to say the funeral prayer correctly?_

Kylo Ren knew he wasn’t going to die on her, much less have her die on him from war. He made his vow to her in their secret marriage that he will destroy armies and slaughter anyone who dared to try to keep them apart - Snoke included, if it were to happen. He promised her **on his knees** that he will protect her with everything in his own power, should his own Empire turn on him. He had given her a silver whistle for a first gift that she cherished like treasure everyday, same goes for the wedding band he forged himself with awe and loving gaze when she couldn’t wear it out in public; Kylo Ren had given the remains of his black heart to Nova as a sign to his love, his allegiance and life to her. Kylo Ren had given her all he had and planned on giving her the galaxy as his queen…

If Nova were to ask him to spar with her, he would for her own amusement. If she were to tell him that she wanted to see a planet he was going to go on, he instantly readied his ship to have her sit by his side. Kylo Ren made it clear on a daily cycle that she mattered to him, even when he couldn’t return her affectionate gestures in front of other officers or General Hux; he would voice it in coded messages and return the kisses, touches and embraces later in their quarters. For all that Nova did to keep him sane and reminded him of his goal, Kylo knew that it still wasn’t enough to return the favor to her.

So, if she desired to mourn for her friend, then let it be done in his hold.

Carrying Nova in his arms through the private passages restricted for the Supreme Leader and very few, trusted staff, Kylo entered their chambers and made his way to their bed. Placing her sleeping body on top of the sheets, he was careful to remove her shoes and socks first, then unbuttoning her trousers and peel off her uniform coat. Undoing her hair and removing the silver whistle from around her neck, Kylo placed that and her wedding ring on the nightstand by her side.

Combing his fingers through her hair to ease the roots, Kylo then shifted her body to properly lay on the bed, her head resting on one of the many pillows. Nova inhaled deeply in her sleep, whining a bit, but settled into the sheets and curled a bit as he waited for her to relax before undressing himself. Not bothering to fold their clothes as they normally would out of habit, Kylo was careful to pick up the rock still lying on the bed, the blue specks sparkling from the outside light and seeming to glow.

Holding the rock, Kylo remembered when Nova first received it from Phasma and just had to show him the gift, as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. He remembered asking what was so special about it, even bringing it up to Phasma that she should know better than to bring rubble onboard, but the response from Phasma herself made him rethink of how he interpreted his then-secret crush and her lifestyle.

“ _She sees everything with new eyes, but she also sees the good in everything_ ,” Phasma had said, looking at him through her helmet with an amused tilt. “ _You would think, if something as simple as a rock would bore her…but she adores so much of what she has been hidden from. I’d rather watch Nova take something good from any job I do, to see her happy for me_.”

Instead of putting the treasured rock back on the bookshelf, Kylo was careful to place it on the nightstand beside Nova’s sleeping form, having it closer to the edge so it can be near her when she wakes up. Moving around to the other side of the bed, Kylo waved a hand to summon the lights off as he climbed in and faced her on his side, hand supporting his head. He watched her for a few moments, hand reaching to her face as his fingertips barely traced the dried tear tracks skimming down her face, tracing her bottom lip before finally holding her cheek. Kylo leaned over and kissed Nova’s forehead, then under her eye…her cheekbone, temple, brow and finally her lips with the most gentle care.

Keeping his strong arm around her as he took one last look to the rock, Kylo rest his mouth against the crown of her head. “ _Min Larel, min turhaya_ …don’t be afraid to cry,” he whispered in a low voice against her hair. “I’ll be there to hold you.”


End file.
